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“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return.” – Natalie Cole

The more you love yourself and others, the brighter and more successful your reality will become. When in the grace and embrace of love, magic, flow and serendipity abounds.

It’s easy to love yourself and others when life is going great. You are on a high, life feels sweet, life feels easy, effortless, good and natural.

Yet when you face challenges, blocks and negativity, that’s when you need love most of all and that’s when it seems to elude you.

Remember that you are loved not only by people in your world, but by the source of creation itself. You are loved totally and unconditionally. There is nothing you need to do to win that love and nothing you can do to lose it. Know that there are no bounds to that love. It loves you more than you love yourself.

You are and always will be inherently loved, loveable and loving. Being aware of this connects you to your true value and increases your sense of worth and deserving.

Accept yourself for where and who you are right now. Accept all parts of you, even those you consider less worthy or pretty, for it is these parts of you that need your love the most. It is impossible to love yourself or another without acceptance of who you are, warts and all.

Rather than resist, deny, judge or condemn what you dislike about yourself or others, acknowledge and accept. This gives you the  opportunity and space for letting go, healing and transformation.

Remember, you are not your dark sides, negative self-concepts, failings or mistakes. This negativity you attribute to yourself is based on misunderstandings about yourself and life; faulty perceptions and beliefs about who you truly are and a blindness to your true worth, value, beauty and goodness.

When you accept yourself for who you are right now you will automatically begin to transform and change for the better. What you accept you can more easily let go of and release to unveil more of who you truly are. It is what you resist that persists.

Accepting yourself also means accepting and honouring your emotions. Trying to love someone (including yourself) through a wall of anger, for example, simply will not work.

Honour your emotions and listen to them. They are a signal and are telling you about what’s going on inside. If they are negative, stressful, painful or uncomfortable, what thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and assumptions lie beneath them? Work to adjust and replace these with positive, serving alternatives.

Express and release your feelings, rather than deny, repress, control or judge them. This doesn’t mean wallowing in them or giving them undue attention if they do not serve you (self-pity is not going to serve you!), nor does it mean venting them at someone inappropriately. (Consider writing a letter and burning it, or punching a pillow, would be a better option than dumping anger on someone else, for example).

Allow your emotions to have a voice. Your feelings are teachers and enable you to learn about yourself, grow, and improve your life. They invite evolution and your ‘becoming’. Let them flow and learn from them. What are they telling you about your internal processes; what inner dynamics are igniting or giving rise to them?

It is only when feelings are denied or repressed that they become problematic or detrimental and can leak into your world via the people and situations you attract.

Everything happening inside you, your emotions and feelings are projected onto your body like a monitor or a screen.

To help you facilitate the release of your negative emotions and feelings, you may want to try;

  • Communicating them to a loved one,
  • Confiding in a coach
  • Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
  • Expressing them through Art, Dance and Music
  • Meditation
  • Writing a gratitude journal,
  • and many more.

Find out how to change your mindset to live a life you love living by contacting Bernadette.